"Brick Walls"

We have all had those moments, when your carefully made plans fall through. When your hopes, dreams and wishes add up to a cautiously calculated goal, only to be stopped in its tracks by a giant, enclosing brick wall. Although most may be defeated by the seemingly daunting barricade, some only see an obstacle to climb over, crawl under and when necessary, break through.

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

I now see in front of me a choice: to be defeated by my brick wall, or to break through it. 

You see, I had a dream that soon became goal and is now a mission. This mission is to be a part of a program that I believe will change my life. Not only will the actual trip affect me, but this crazy, hard journey to get there already has greatly impacted who I am and who I want to become. When I first started down this road I didn't see the journey, all I saw was the light at the end of the tunnel. Now that the deadline for my trip has come and gone and I am still sitting behind my computer in Washington dreaming of far off places and people, I know if this is going to happen, its time for plan B. 

The only way for me to continue to pursue this mission, is to postpone it. This involves deferring my admission and scholarships to Pacific Lutheran University to the fall of 2016 and postpone my tour to Up With People to January 2016 to return in early June. This gives me 6 months to fundraise and work for my tuition (Although I am already employed I have been applying for a second jobs, no leads yet though). Luckily for me, I have a very understanding family that has helped me realize there is no shame in plan B, no harm in admitting that trying my best just wasn't good enough. In life it doesn't matter what knocks you down, but how you get back up. Fortunately, I am quite a clumsy individual and therefore have a lot of practice getting back up after a nasty fall. 

I don't know if I was born a fighter, or if I am just stubborn. Either way, I believe that the phrase is "never give up, never surrender". No matter what it takes I am going, and if that means I have to wait until January and work three jobs and never sleep, then that is exactly what I will do. It is really difficult for me to admit that I couldn't realize my dream of going when and how I wanted, especially because of all of the wonderful people that believed in me and donated funds, items or time to my cause. However, this is not me giving up, it is merely me finding the best way to break through the financial brick wall that stands in my way. Thank you for all of your support and love on my Journey to Up With People 2015 2016.