"Brick Walls"

We have all had those moments, when your carefully made plans fall through. When your hopes, dreams and wishes add up to a cautiously calculated goal, only to be stopped in its tracks by a giant, enclosing brick wall. Although most may be defeated by the seemingly daunting barricade, some only see an obstacle to climb over, crawl under and when necessary, break through.

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

I now see in front of me a choice: to be defeated by my brick wall, or to break through it. 

You see, I had a dream that soon became goal and is now a mission. This mission is to be a part of a program that I believe will change my life. Not only will the actual trip affect me, but this crazy, hard journey to get there already has greatly impacted who I am and who I want to become. When I first started down this road I didn't see the journey, all I saw was the light at the end of the tunnel. Now that the deadline for my trip has come and gone and I am still sitting behind my computer in Washington dreaming of far off places and people, I know if this is going to happen, its time for plan B. 

The only way for me to continue to pursue this mission, is to postpone it. This involves deferring my admission and scholarships to Pacific Lutheran University to the fall of 2016 and postpone my tour to Up With People to January 2016 to return in early June. This gives me 6 months to fundraise and work for my tuition (Although I am already employed I have been applying for a second jobs, no leads yet though). Luckily for me, I have a very understanding family that has helped me realize there is no shame in plan B, no harm in admitting that trying my best just wasn't good enough. In life it doesn't matter what knocks you down, but how you get back up. Fortunately, I am quite a clumsy individual and therefore have a lot of practice getting back up after a nasty fall. 

I don't know if I was born a fighter, or if I am just stubborn. Either way, I believe that the phrase is "never give up, never surrender". No matter what it takes I am going, and if that means I have to wait until January and work three jobs and never sleep, then that is exactly what I will do. It is really difficult for me to admit that I couldn't realize my dream of going when and how I wanted, especially because of all of the wonderful people that believed in me and donated funds, items or time to my cause. However, this is not me giving up, it is merely me finding the best way to break through the financial brick wall that stands in my way. Thank you for all of your support and love on my Journey to Up With People 2015 2016.

"Every Penny Counts"

Every penny is lucky if you see its worth. I empty my pockets at the end of each day into an empty coffee can. I got the idea from an UWP fundrasing guide while I was trying to plan a fundraiser. It is the simplicity of the idea that struck me. I got up and went into my kitchen to find a container. Luckily for me I had just finished the coffee that morning. After a quick rinse I decided to decorate it, because you know it is always more fun if you get to make it pretty. 15 minutes, some scrapbooking paper, sharpie and tape later, I found myself looking at a cute, motivational can begging me to fill it.

One penny soon became two and the forgotten change to my morning coffee is slowly multiplying. I have found that each time I add a dime I get a small burst of satisfaction. I know I am inching my way towards my goal and in a fairly painless way. I don't notice the loss of a few spare coins, but yet each day I am doing a little something for my future. I have only been doing this for a few weeks and I am shocked to see how many coins I have been able to collect.

Even though I was excited to see my progress in my little game, I was soon tempted to dip into my jar to scrounge some change for a vending machine one day when a cherry Coke seemed like a brilliant idea. That's when I decided I needed some ground rules, they became as follows:
1. Once the coin goes it, it can't be removed
2. No counting the jar until it is full.
3. Must save all change, even if that means looking cheap for keeping that $0.03 change.
4. No lending, or borrowing of coins.
5. Only open the can once a week.
You see, I figure if I limit myself, I will be able to fight off my urges for carbonated beverages and will hopefully be surprised when I realize how much money I have made!

Now, if only I could make my little game more profitable. I know! Spread the love! Which leads me to the unveiling of my newest and easiest fundraiser! SPARE COIN CAMPAIGN. I am asking all of my loving and supporting friends, family, and followers to help me by giving me their two cents so to speak. However, if you are looking for a little more motivation than that, I have the best kind, a little friendly competition if you will. I will be distributing Spare Coin Jars to interested parties and will be doing a coin drive from now until April 25th, my 18th Birthday. The party that raises the most coins will receive a Gift Certificate for Dinner for Two donated by Oddfella's Pub. The winner will be announced as soon as all the entries have been counted and a winner can be determined. I will be providing decorated jars upon request, but any old coffee can or cleaned mayo jar will do! It is amazing to see how much a little effort can accomplish and how much just change can add up to. Thank you for all you help and support. Let me know if you're interested, have fun, and remember, every penny counts!

"Fake It Till You Make It"

My freshmen year I was nervously pacing before my audition for jazz band when an upperclassman gave me some advice I will never forget, "You gotta fake it till you make it". Although I had heard the phrase before, it had never really meant anything. But in that moment, it finally made sense. That sparked my interest in so many things. M freshmen year I began taking leaps and trying things I previously never would have even bothered to look at. I auditioned for the spring musical, went out for the tennis team, ran in student government elections and decided that you gotta be in the race to win the race. Luckily for me, I have continued with this principle throughout my high school career. Although sometimes trying new things doesn't always work out, I have made so many memories and learned quite a few lessons by faking my confidence long enough to get through an audition or interview and that has made me the person I am today.

Four years and countless chances later, I have built up a new kind of confidence. I have realized that the best thing to do when you are unsure about something, is to just go for it. I have learned things about myself I would have never known if I hadn't stood on that stage or court or ballot. Now, I have a love of tennis, I decided playing in the orchestra for the musical instead of starring in it is more my style and I am now President of Band Council attempting to use my new found leadership skills to make an impact on the program that has given so much to me over the past few years.

It is this confidence and these experiences that lead me to pursue Up With People. When I first learned about Up With People it seemed like an unreal dream too far away from my grasp. The presenters asked at the end if anyone was interested in applying for their program. It seemed like a stretch, but I figured I wouldn't know unless I tried. I eagerly accepted what felt like a possible passport to the world and quickly scrawled my name on the list of applicants. The application  was thick and by the time I turned it in, the dream was fading fast.

Then, amazingly, I got called in for an interview. Picking out my most professional button up and trying to appear much more put together than I felt, I headed down to the Auburn Avenue Theatre and walked right into a room full of laptops, UWP staff and intimidating stares. As it turns out my interviewer forgot he had scheduled something with me and was not even in the building. At that moment I have to admit I couldn't have felt more unimportant.

The other various people asked me to sit and talk with them as someone frantically tried to track down the person supposed to be interviewing me. I took a seat at a table full of staff and began chatting about my hobbies and goals. Trying to hide my nervousness I attempted to make a good impression as I firmly took hold of my 'Fake It Til You Make It' mentality. The bittersweet thing was that they couldn't find my original interviewer (a completely gorgeous Swedish guy I had really wanted to meet), apparently he was stuck in a meeting in another part of town. The bright side is that m new interviewer ended up being the very nice guy I had just spent 15 minutes chatting with. Instead of not knowing my interviewer, I got to interview with Isaiah, a fellow musician from the US who attended the program before college and then went to work for UWP.

Throughout the interview I answered questions about who I am and who I wanted to be. What my goals and ambitions are and why I wanted to join the program. The last question of the interview was about my commitment to attending. He informed me again of the tuition cost and the international aspect of the program and asked if I would be able to attend because it is a competitive program and they didn't want to admit students that were not serious about attending. This is where a crack formed in my resolve. Although I was really committed to going, $18,000 was more money than I had ever seen in my life. At that time, getting Starbucks was a treat for me. I expressed my concern about the price tag, but assured him that I would work my hardest to afford to go.

It was how he responded to my concern that really gave me the confidence to pursue this further. He said, off the record, that I was a perfect candidate for the program and he was confident that I would be accepted, but that the official decision would have to come from their intentional headquarters. Then, he further assured me that he also came from a single parent family with siblings where money wasn't always easy and that at the time of his acceptance he had about $20 in his bank account. He said that he was about to raise the money in about four months with the help of his community and that he didn't want me to not try based purely off of the price tag. I thanked him for his time and consideration and then began frequently checking the mail box as I waited for a response.

After a few weeks, I made it! I got my acceptance and all my fears were erased. I was given an opportunity that I never would have even imagined if I had not tried. I am so grateful that I was able to conduct myself eloquently and articulate my ambition effectively enough to get accepted into this program. Now, as people as me how I am going to pay for it, I simply have faith, and fake my confidence until I am able to make it to my goal.

Thank you for your time and support in My Journey to Up With People! Please check my Donation page and keep looking for new posts! I will be sure to be a little more prompt with my next one :)